Can Never Come True
by Marie Whi Mitshue
Summary: YAOI. 1x2x1. Something terrible happens because of Heero...or does it?


"…Can Never Come True" by Marie Whi Mitshue  
  
Author's Note & Warnings: YAOI, 1x2x1, lemon (sort of), a kinda deathfic (HAPPY ENDING!! I swear!!!) sap, angst, blood, OOC… I was just writing and this is what happened…  
  
I don't own them, they belong to… whoever owns them! Don't sue, I'm poor… wanna penny? Cause that's all I got….  
  
Email the hate mail, praise and sniggers to kumiko_chan@gundamwing.net  
  
//thoughts//  
  
*emphasis* (the more **, the greater the emphasis)  
  
***  
  
"You are. . . very . . . weird."  
  
His breath came in scarcely muffled, vocal gasps. Heero was still conscious of the potential audience in Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei's rooms on either side but Duo seemed to have shut it out.  
  
"Very . . .weird . . . indeed."  
  
Heero grinned in the glow of the string of dim, fairy-like lights Duo had strung over the top of his headboard.  
  
"I'll . . . stop if you . . . don't . . . like it."  
  
Duo squirmed against him with an extra added thrust.  
  
"I didn't . . . say I . . . didn't like it . . . quite the . . . reverse . . . I *like it very much!*" His breath came in a final shout, his back arched in a prolonged, teeth-clenching spasm. By then even Heero had forgotten the others might hear them.  
  
A little later Duo was kissing his shoulder. "You're a terrible pervert, Heero Yuy. You know that?"  
  
"People have told me. Hentai Heero." He teased. People that had meant nothing to him. Only the boy beneath him had ever . . .  
  
"Will you take these things off me now?" Duo asked, breaking Heero's chain of thought.  
  
"Why don't we wait a little bit."  
  
Heero had to admit, Duo really did look magnificent, face flushed, skin damp, long, long chestnut hair all around them both, violet eyes dreamy . . . Duo formed his lips into a small pout.  
  
"Please, we do it again, I'd rather do it the usual way . . at least for tonight, anyway. Besides, if I really wanted to, I could get outta them myself." Duo smirked up at him.  
  
Heero smiled, remembering how many times Duo had been captured and had escaped, with and without help . "Whatever you say."  
  
As he deftly dealt with the fastening, Duo laid back with his eyes closed.  
  
"You are very weird, Heero." Duo giggled again.  
  
Heero kissed the American tenderly on the mouth. Duo's violet eyes slowly opened as Heero broke the kiss.  
  
"And you love it." Heero retorted, a slight smile curving those luscious lips.  
  
Duo put a finger to his chin, and pretended to consider. "We~ll…" He giggled again as Heero smacked him lightly on forehead. "Yes, I love it. I love *you*, Heero."  
  
Heero froze, still half-atop Duo, eyes wide and stunned.  
  
"N..Nani?" Heero whispered, face hovering over Duo's.  
  
Duo swallowed, uncertainty and apprehension clear on his face.  
  
"I… I said I love you, Heero." When Heero didn't say anything, just lay atop him and stared down at him, face blank and eyes wide, Duo gulped a deep breath and lowered his lashes to hide the pain and the first glimmerings of tears. He pushed at Heero's shoulder, and rolled out from in under him, surging to his feet, hair flying all around.  
  
Heero lay where Duo had rolled him, on his side, eyes still locked on Duo, but he didn't open his mouth.  
  
Duo yanked on his pants, then turned back to face Heero, naked pain on his face. He waited as Heero sat up slowly, waited for the other boy to say something, *anything*.  
  
Heero remained silent, but his intense cobalt gaze never left Duo's face.  
  
Finally, Duo couldn't stand it. "Say SOMETHING, Heero! I just told you that I LOVE you!! Don't you care about me?! Or…am I just a convenient FUCK?!"  
  
Heero just stared at him. Then he stood and slowly got dressed. He looked at Duo, reached out and touched his cheek. Duo's eyes started to fill with relief. Then Heero's hand dropped away.  
  
"Sayonara, Duo." And he turned and walked away, without once looking back at the boy he had just been making love with.  
  
Duo collapsed to the floor, staring at the rumpled bed. The metal on the leather bindings Heero had used on him glittered on the pillow.  
  
"Heero…"  
  
***  
  
Heero found himself tucked in Wing's cockpit, hands so tightly clenched around the controls his knuckles were white.  
  
//How could you just stare at him and walk away?!// A Voice yelled at him in the back of his head.  
  
//Shut up!// He growled at it, eyes unaccountably stinging.  
  
//NO! He told you he LOVED you and you just **looked** at him! He bluntly asked if you gave a shit about him, or if he was just your FUCKBUNNY and you just **looked** at him –  
  
Shut up! SHUT UP!!!  
  
– You just got dressed and told him goodbye!! Why, you stupid fucker?!  
  
It's complicated. I can't… I can't do that… I can't… he can't love me! I'm the Perfect Soldier, I have to…to control… to keep in control… sex is one thing… love… I can't control love…Duo can't love me…he CAN'T!!!  
  
He damned well CAN! And he does! And you left him there thinking you only wanted him for his body! You left him thinking he meant NOTHING to you, when he is your whole world!  
  
He is NOT! He is not my whole world!// Heero told the voice panickedly.  
  
//For such a smart person, you are such a *dumbass*! Duo means more to you than anything else, even your stupid missions!  
  
NO! DUO MAXWELL MEANS NOTHING TO ME!!!  
  
And when you can say that ten times fast with a straight face, I still won't believe you! You're arguing with YOURSELF, you baka!// The voice sneered. //And you do LOVE DUO MAXWELL WITH ALL YOUR FUCKING HEART!!! And you just BROKE his!! He's probably CRYING right now! Do you feel happy? Are you pleased that you could make the boy who's gone through so much, who doesn't cry despite all his pain and guilt, actually cry?! I bet he's curled up on the bed you just FUCKED his brains out on, clutching the pillow that smells like you, and SOBBING his BROKEN, SHATTERED heart out!!  
  
Shit, I got a sadistic mental voice,// Heero thought back at himself, nearly crying himself at the mental picture his mind had just painted for him.  
  
//I am a fucking idiot! I do love him. Shit, I got to go back and tell him. How could I hurt him like this? Heero, you bastard!// He scrambled for the hatch.  
  
//See, I was right.// The voice said smugly, //Now go apologize and tell him you love him too before it's too late.//  
  
***  
  
Halfway to Duo's room, Heero stumbled into Wufei as the Chinese pilot came out of the bathroom. Heero just rebounded off the wall, not even noticing Wufei's cursing.  
  
Wufei yanked on Heero's arm. "What is your prob –?!" He started to snarl at the Japanese pilot, but the *feelings* visible in those intensely-blue eyes, in that beautifully sculpted face, stopped him cold. Heero's lower lip actually quivered. "HEERO?!"  
  
"I have to get to Duo." Heero said in shaking voice. "I have to tell him I'm sorry, that I love him like he loves me, I hav –"  
  
A sudden, loud noise killed the Wing pilot's voice. Both boys froze in shock as they instantly identified the familiar sound: a gun shot.  
  
"DUO!" Heero ran. Wufei shook his confused head, and raced after Heero.  
  
Trowa and Quatre came around the corner as Heero and Wufei skidded to a stop outside Duo's door.  
  
"Duo…?" Quatre questioned worriedly.  
  
"No, please, he wouldn't do that, because I didn't… He wouldn't do that, onegai, don't let him have…" Heero whimpered and slowly shoved open the door.  
  
Duo Maxwell was slumped on the floor, shoulder propped up against the end of the bed, facing the door. His legs were outspread, head bowed, his hair covering everything, and not letting any of them see him clearly. One hand lay, limply curled, on the carpet. The other was clenched loosely around a handgun, on his thigh, the weapon and hand nearly obscured by the fall of chestnut hair. He was still naked but for his pants… and the blood.  
  
Although they couldn't see him clearly but for his hair, they could see the blood. It soaked the dark fabric of his pants, darkened that chestnut silk in places, pooled in the cupped palm of his empty hand, was slowly starting to pool around him.  
  
"***NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!***" Heero let out a cry that was torn form the depths of his soul and flung himself down beside the body of the boy he loved.  
  
Then Duo's head lifted, waves of chestnut hair parting to reveal his bloody face, tears bright on his cheeks, in his tormented violet eyes. The gunshot wound was revealed, a ragged, wound at the base of his throat pulsing bright, bright blood uncontrollably.  
  
He wasn't dead, but he didn't have long to live.  
  
His lips parted, and he tried to speak, but all that came out was a hoarse noise. He'd obviously gotten his windpipe with that shot. His mouth formed Heero's name.  
  
"Duo, gomen, I'm so sorry, Duo!" Heero was bawling like a baby. "I was afraid, that's all! I *do* love you, Duo, just like you love me! GOD, Duo why! If you had only waited two more minutes! I was coming to tell you I was sorry, that I do love you!"  
  
Duo's eyes drooped and Heero clutched at him. The gun fell from his limp hand to land, with a splash, in Duo's blood. Duo blinked up at Heero, eyelids moving so slowly, so heavily.  
  
Duo's lips formed the words, Love…me?, and Heero nodded frantically.  
  
"Yes, yes, yes! I love you, ai shiteru, ai shiteru itsumo, Duo Maxwell! I love you, forever and ever!"  
  
Heero, Duo's bloodied mouth curved slightly as he mouthed the words, kiss… me?  
  
Heero lowered his mouth to Duo's, felt them mould to his own for one, brief, aching moment – and then Duo's mouth left his, head falling sideways, last breath escaping him in a tremulous sigh.  
  
"Duo." Heero sobbed. "Duo? DUO?! **DUO!!!**" Heero gently laid his love down on the floor, touched those still lips with his own once more.  
  
"All my fault…" He murmured as he straightened up, oblivious to the trio of stunned and grieving pilots in the door behind him. "If I hadn't… I…I *killed* the only person I ever loved…"  
  
Heero's cobalt eyes fell on Duo's gun, and an insane smile tilted his lips. "Duo, I love you…"  
  
Before any of the others could move, Heero grabbed up the gun, pressed the muzzle into his mouth and squeezed the trigger. He jerked backwards, blood and gore spurting, and his body tumbled to the floor. His head landed on Duo's shoulder, turned in towards Duo's face, Duo's curled hand beneath his arm, Heero's arm spread across Duo's stomach, gun-wielding hand draped across the American's hip.  
  
As the other three pilots stared in horror, grief and shock, the gun slipped from Heero's hand, falling to the bloody carpet, and Heero's curled fingers slid limply down Duo's hip to land atop Duo's hand on his thigh. Heero's blood trickled onto Duo beneath him.  
  
And Heero Yuy bolted awake, trying to scream. All that came out was a thin, strangled whimper. He looked around his darkened room.  
  
Duo wasn't in the bed with him.  
  
Oh, yeah. Duo had left after they had made love. That much of the dream had been based on reality. But Duo hadn't told him he loved him; Heero hadn't run; Duo hadn't… Duo had just gone back to his own room.  
  
Heero jumped out the bed, dressed only in a pair of pale green boxers. He ran out of the room without even bothering to dress, or to grab a gun.  
  
He opened the door to Duo's room, and his aching lungs finally released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding as he saw the sleeping American sprawled across his bed. The rise and fall of the pale, muscled chest, the soft, cute, little snores escaping his half-open mouth, the absence of blood or a wound all told Heero that Duo was alive and unharmed.  
  
But Heero walked forward, until his knee hit the mattress. He sat slowly, and drew the sheet from Duo's body.  
  
He wore nothing beneath, gloriously naked but for the tiny gold cross nestled in the hollow of his throat, and his unbound hair.  
  
Heero bent forward and pressed a kiss to Duo's chest, reassured by the thump-thump of his heartbeat beneath his mouth. The other boy murmured in his sleep, and shifted closer to Heero's warmth. Heero drew him close and kissed a trail down Duo's body.  
  
"Ai shiteru, Duo, ai shiteru… love you, don't ever do that…love you…. Ai shiteru….love you…" He whispered as he kissed, over and over, like a mantra.  
  
Duo moaned in his sleep, body responding to Heero's caresses.  
  
Duo's eyes snapped open, just as Heero's mouth reached his hip. His mouth opened, but no words escaped him as Heero's whispers reached his ears.  
  
"…love you, Duo… ai shiteru… don't leave me…. I love you… please, don't ever do that… love you… ai shiteru…Duo, my Duo…love you…."  
  
"H..Heero?!"  
  
Heero started, then rose and pressed his mouth to Duo's. Duo kissed him back, gasping as he felt tears fall from Heero and land on his skin. He pulled away and his fingertips brushed at the tears on Heero's cheeks.  
  
"Heero, are you okay?" He held the Wing pilot close as his body shuddered.  
  
"Duo…" He gasped, pressing his wet face into Duo's neck. "I love you. *I love you.* Don't leave me, alright? I love you, and I'm sorry I never told you before, I love you. You aren't just my fuckbunny, you aren't just a lay, someone for me to fuck when I'm horny. I love you. Please, don't ever think that, okay? Ai shiteru. I love you, don't leave me alone."  
  
"Shhh, Heero, it's okay." Duo hugged him tight. "I love you too. I know I'm not just someone for you to screw. I wouldn't think that, and I won't leave you, ever. I won't leave you alone. I love you."  
  
Heero's hands clenched in Duo's hair. "In… in my dream… you told me you loved me… and I…I couldn't say it back… I just left you there, with only a goodbye, let you think you meant nothing to me… and then I realized, I had to tell you, that I loved you too….but you shot yourself, and you died in my arms, and…. I couldn't deal with it… I killed myself with the gun you used… I… don't… I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…"  
  
"Heero… I love you…" Duo flipped them over, pinning Heero beneath him, and proceeded to show him how much he loved him, never ceasing his reassuring, breathless chant of "Heero, I love you, I won't leave you."  
  
Heero responded urgently beneath him, begging for Duo to take him, to show him how much he loved him, and the Deathscythe pilot complied, as urgent and desperate as Heero.  
  
After, when they lay in each others arms, Heero clasped Duo tight, and kissed his throat tenderly. "I love you. And now that dream can never come true."  
  
Duo just kissed at his temple. "I love you, Heero. Never leave you…"  
  
Both were asleep in a matter of minutes, but neither let go of the other. And neither had anything but sweet dreams.  
  
OWARI  
  
IT WAS ALL A DREAM!!!! Stupid fic, crappy, but hey, the fucked-up, crazy munchkin muse in my head made me do it! MBWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


End file.
